Few years ago when I got divorced the world all over me seemed dark and unfavorable. I felt like there is practically nothing to look forward to. I often felt like crying, and often the tears were hard to stop. I was suffering from unusual aches and pains, had chronic negative thoughts, had problems concentrating and I was realizing guilt and worthlessness and had turn out to be very negative and my future looked blank.
My marriage to my ex husband was a big mistake. Even while I was warned by my family members, I wanted to go ahead with it. Most of them had questions about him but I desired to marry him at any cost. Perhaps this is what is known as “Love is blind”. I had come to UK for better studies, initially being from Pakistan. I met my ex when he was in UK on a business visit. After my wedding to him there was not an individual day in my life when I did not cry. We got wedded in Pakistan and he associated me to UK as my dependent. We hardly lived together for six months and he wanted to proceed to USA as he did not like this country. He was always at home, seated and chatting with girls on computer. I continue to do not complain. I often thought that almost everything would be alright one day. Then one day he said to me that he has got a Job in USA and he is leaving and would be in touch with me on phone and net and once he got a house there he would call me. He left for USA and his mind-set towards me started altering day by day. He was neglecting my calls and was acting very rudely and also described that he made a mistake by getting married to me. I requested him for reason and he gave all lame reasons like there is no comprehension between us etc.
During this time I also came to understand that he was previously married to a lady in Pakistan and that he is used to casino. I still did not want to depart him or take divorce from him. I was very much afraid of this word “divorce”.
I prayed to Allah that he should stop this divorce and make my ex come back to me. Everybody one was telling me to get rid of him but I did not have to guts to do so. I was currently in my early thirties and with the label of “divorcee” I was sure that no one would accept me and would be left all alone. I keep in mind that it was month of ramzan, I fasted, prayed all night and when I got up in the early morning I received a phone call from my mom that my ex has sent divorce notice by post. I was absolutely broken. I kept on considering that why Allah not listened to my prayers. My mother kept informing me that there must be something good in it. Almost everything happens because of a reason and Allah knows better. I kept weeping and was very upset the whole day.
As I could not sleep that night I was getting up again and again and was much disrupted. I was boosting my hands and asking Allah for help and was calling Allah all the time. Then all of a sudden I remembered that my mother had gifted me Quran with interpretation and explanation a year ago and asked me to read it regularly so that I can find some comfort in it. Then I just got up from bed conducted wadhu and simply picked up the Quran and opened a page. And in front of me was this ayah from surah talaq the language translation of which is as follows:
Talaq 65:3] and will offer him sustenance from a place he had never expected; and anyone relies on Allah – then Allah is Adequate for him; indeed Allah will achieve His command; indeed Allah has set a proper evaluate for all things.
[Talaq 65:5] This is Allah’s order that He has sent down in direction of you; and anyone fears Allah – Allah will reduce his sins and bestows upon him a great reward.
After learning this I recognized that whatever happened was God’s will and all this occurred because he could no more see me leading a choked life with my ex.
In past I invested most of my time seeking my studies to build my career. I felt I never had time to read Quran and often felt very lazy to offer namaz too. But after that day forward I started praying consistently and also started reciting Quran every day. I recited following:-
Ya Allah Ya rahman ya rahim- 1200 times daily Durood-e-Shareef before and after
Ya Allah hu ya salaamu – 1000 times every day. 11 times Durood-e-shareef before and after.
Ya musabab ul asbab – 100 times daily
Durood-e-shareef – All day and night anytime possible
Took in to Tafseer of Quran by Dr Ghulam Malik Murtaza on YouTube
Almost six months passed by and I was happy, pleased and content with my life. I began making progress and was failing to remember my past gradually. I knew that no matter what Allah is always with me and besides Allah I do not need anyone. Then one day a buddy of my brother came to visit us and described to my brother about a proposal for me. My brother mentioned with me and invited the family over to our house. I was not sure whether this would complete. I thought they would refuse after learning that I am a divorcee but by the grace of Allah almost everything worked out well I met my future husband and after two months I got married again. Allah had put everything in place.
Today after almost five years I can’t consider I am the same person. I got all the pleasure I wanted and everything I wished for came true. I am now living a very happy wedded life with three beautiful children and a loving and caring husband. All this occurred only due to dua’s and blessings of Allah. I am very much certain now that everything that happens in this world to us is only for our own good and only god knows much better what lies ahead in future. All the hardship’s I had gone through was nothing but a blessing in disguise. I never felt so close to Allah as I now feel. I was always uncertain whether dua could change one’s destiny or not but now I am know for sure that by offering namaz, reciting Quran, making dua and placing trust in Allah can definitely change your life.