Playful flirting and games are part of basic human relationship. Feeling that you are eye-catching, interesting and able to love seems amazing. It causes an actual physical, chemical response in our brains. It makes us happy.
I don’t consider it is achievable to genuinely deny a crush – when it happens; you just need to wait it out.
You and the Married Man
Issues only arise when you begin to act upon your dreams with someone who is currently committed to someone else.
Let’s be sincere here … the purpose that you have read this far is most likely because you are now at that stage, and looking for justification, redemption, encouragement … ? You are most likely now thinking about what it would be like to have a serious relationship with him. Am I right? I’m not judging you – I understand you. I’ve been there.
Perhaps he is signaling back to you that he is fascinated too. Maybe he is indicating that anything more could happen between you. Probably he is attempting to start an affair with you. Probably you just want to go for it, despite the consequences. However, if you are getting positive signals, odds are that the man is simply providing his own ego with your interest. Even more however, if you take it further, it will almost always end badly – for you.
Do you really want to go there?
Even if you see it as just a simple, secure affair, in most cases, women end up wanting a suitable relationship in the long run. It is not harmless, simply due to the fact somewhere; somebody is going to get hurt.
When I’ve had emotions for an unavailable man, I have always asked myself this question … “If he leaves his wife for me, how could I ever trust him?”…
The simple response is … I couldn’t.
His wife is a real individual with hopes, worries, dreams and emotions. If you’ve never met her, it makes it very difficult to consider that she actually prevails, even though you know she does. It might seem less painful if you are able to ignore that he goes home to her, but it basically helps to really think about her and how your actions might affect her. It type of puts things in viewpoint, and it personally makes me feel a small angry with the man for placing both me and his wife in this situation, and that helps too.
Be warned … if you go searching for advice; be prepared to be judged badly. You will be recognized as a threat to anyone who is in or who has had a relationship. Almost everybody will take the high moral ground, without thinking about any individual circumstances. No matter what, despite what you might be told by almost anyone with a viewpoint … you are not a bad person.
Here are some suggestions to help ease your feelings while you wait:
Try and concentrate your attentions elsewhere. You are most likely looking at your most attractive at the moment, due to the fact of the euphoria your crush is causing you. Who else is all over who IS available? If you are already in a connection yourself, can you spice up things there?
Mention his wife in common conversation. It will remind both you and him that she exists, and will suggest to him that you are being respectful of her and their relationship.
Look for things about him that you dislike, and focus on them. If you love cats, and he says vicious things about cats, focus on that! If he has ugly hands, focus on them! If he does something stupid, focus on it!
Avoid the temptation to answer personal emails, texts and phone calls from him. If you must answer, keep it short and impersonal. It’s hard, but tries to discourage any sort of intimate or private behavior.
Love yourself. Often we look to men to validate us, simply because we don’t have enough self confidence. Do anything amazing for yourself … take a holiday, make some part of on your own over, learn something new, experience something amazing … You are a fabulous woman. Go out and live!