Communicating in relationships, specifically at the starting, has never been very cut and dry. There are all kinds of rules about when it’s okay to call him and what you should say to him. Always let him call first. Wait 24 hours before you call him after a date. Don’t answer the phone on the first ring. These are all things we’ve heard over and over again for years… But now, anything has changed! Now we have text messaging — a brief, casual form of interaction that makes reaching out to the guy you is dating even more confusing! So how do you handle the world of SMS when you’re dating a guy?
Similar to the phone rule, you should probably wait for him to text you first. Don’t start sending him random messages or date requests the second you get his phone number -- that can be really overwhelming right off the bat. Let him make the effort to text you, and then you can respond to him. Again, as with the “don’t answer on the first ring” rule, you will want to wait a little while before you text him back when he does lastly text you. After all, you don’t want him to think that you were just sitting by the phone waiting for him to contact you, do you?
When you are replying, you need to be cautious about what you say. Don’t just type out anything that comes to mind right off the bat! Consider any possible ways he can misread what you might say. It’s challenging to convey emotion or intent through text, so keep that in mind. Also, you don’t want to type out this whole long-winded passage when he just asked how you’re doing! Text messages are intended to be brief and to the point, not an excuse to write a novel.
You must also be careful to avoid the dreaded “drunk text.” Drunk testing can almost remove any chance you had with a guy in the first place, and they never end up the way you hope! It may be tempting to invite him over for a little hanky-panky at two in the morning, but even if he does come over, he’s just going to think of you as an easy drunk. If he doesn’t come over, he’s going to think of you as an easy drunk and you’re not even going to get laid.