According to Webster’s vocabulary, transparency is defined as free from pretense or deceit, open and honest – not discreet. Transparency is a key element in a great relationship. While transparency is important part of a lasting relationship, some people have not been taught the importance of being transparent in a relationship. It isn’t always easy to be so open and honest. Many people need support. They need to feel it’s okay to share their sensations, thoughts, feelings, and experiences. So what are some of the reasons why people aren’t translucent in a relationship?

They don’t feel comfortable sharing with their partner. Being open and honest requires some level of vulnerability. If your partner does not create an environment that gives you a sense of security and trust, you don’t feel comfortable sharing.
They don’t want their transparency to be used against them. No one wants to have shared their inner most feelings or activities with their mate to only have it thrown back in their face during an argument or disagreement.
    They are familiar to dismissing their thoughts and/or avoiding the more negative feelings.

It takes courage to devote to visibility in a relationship; however, is there such a thing as too much transparency in a relationship? There may be a time when telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth would hurt your mate or trigger problems between the two of you. For example, an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend reached out to you and initially it looked quite innocent. The two of you haven’t talked in a while, and you were catching up on life’s events. After a few talks, your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend starts to reminisce about the two of you and you notice that his/her dialogue changes. He/she states there are still feelings there, and would like to see you. You quickly rejected his/her invites.

If you quickly dismissed your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, is it wise to share the incident with your mate? If so, what would be your motives? Are you trying to show your mate that you are open and honest, and can be trusted? Do you feel like your mate isn’t giving you enough interest and sharing this will make your partner be more attentive? Will sharing this drive a wedge between the two of you? If you chose not to share the deals with your ex, and your partner found out, would it bring you closer together or push you farther apart? If you didn’t reject your ex’s invitation, that is an entirely differently issue, one to be reviewed in a later article. Visibility is supposed to bring you closer together, not push you apart. You want to be able to say to your partner, “This is me. This is who I am.” You want to be able to show your partner the whole you, not just a part of you: your needs, fears, wishes, hopes, and life encounters. In essence, you desire to know your partner and be known in return.