The opinion seems self evident in the context of getting wedded as I can think of no other reason why someone would get wedded if not with a good heart, and by the same token with good objectives. However all over history we hear of experiences about people who marry for a wide range of reasons and they do not always have the attention of their prospective spouse at heart. Basically it’s fairly safe to believe that love is at the center of most unions and it actually should be the core purpose for agreeing to take marriage vows and join together in holy married life. Love is an essential requirement of most unions; moreover it can be argued that there are other factors which are similarly important if a wedding is really to be forever. In suggesting this I refer to the Holy Bible, Jeremiah 29:11.

“For I know the ideas that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of wicked, to give you an upcoming and a hope.”

My argument is that in any wedding, but particularly in a Christian wedding the husband and wife should be like our Lord Jesus Christ and have thoughts of serenity and not of evil towards their partner. This I would argue is not just some of the time, but should be evident in every aspect of the connection. At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, in exchanging vows it is vital that we, like our Lord Jesus Christ think good things towards our potential partner, for we should wish them a bright, happy and healthy and balanced future. The significance in thinking good things about each other is similar to growing good seeds. If you plant an abundance of good seeds than you should generate a variety of healthy crops.

I put forward this biblical ideal as an essential principle as I believe for any healthy relationship to be recognized and sustained, that we should ensure that all agendas, hidden or not seek to empower, enable and engender positive things in the other person’s life. I suppose we should consider as a first step how much peace and a good reputation you wish for your spouse or partner? Do you pray and hope for only good things for them, and if so is this evident in your communication with them on a daily basis. Do you at times wish the best for them, but are aware that these emotions are mixed or tinged with other human emotions such as jealousy, envy and spite. For instance after a discussion you may feel less than positive about your spouse so what steps would you take to resolve these adverse emotions?

Some relationship professionals, and I do not include myself in this classification might argue that the self-centered person in a wedding would initially ensure that their needs are met before they wish good and positive things for their partner. If you are happy and factors are going well in your life then you can focus more on guaranteeing that your spouse receives positive interest and gets a lot of praise and love. I take on board that we all need to ensure our own well-being prior to looking after another person; but in the case of a wedding partnership it might be argued that in becoming one with the exchange of vows and rings, that we agree to ensure that their needs are met before our own. Other factors which are essential in a marriage are trust, fidelity, and mutual respect and of course love.

At the outset of the article I described that people marry for various reasons. I would like to take this chance of exploring some of these reasons. In the first instance two people may meet fall in love and decide to marry. This is probably the norm, especially when the couple is young. Other people may marry for companionship and good objectives are at the heart of the marriage. Other people may have a totally different agenda and see marriage as a chance of acquiring either wealth or an opportunity to live in a different country. It does not mean if these aspects are a consideration that you cannot marry with a good heart it’s just less likely. The Holy Bible orders us to love with a good heart for’ he who finds a wife finds good.

As a woman I certainly agree with the comment, as most wives are good and ensure the well being of the whole family unit. For the most part wives are loyal, usually a good helpmate, and the one who encourages her mate to accomplish his best… A good wife will be a lifetime companion and as a couple you should both grow in religious wisdom and maturity together. The maxim that two working together and sharing will achieve more than one is quite evident in most circumstances; as is the view that if one stumbles the other will pick him/her up. At the heart of any good marriage is compromise, a desire not only to communicate and negotiate with each other but being flexible and willing to put the other person’s needs before your own. In interacting with your spouse you should try to ensure that the things you say are positive, and that you speak well of each other to each other and also with other people. We need when we marry to take on the covenant relationship as illustrated in the scriptures.

The Bible lays down particular rules and regulations pertaining to marriage. It is a union between two people of the reverse sex; and there should be no divorce, the union is forever. If the husband dies then his family members should care for the wife. In olden days a brother could marry his sister-in-law; but these days it may be considered incestuous. Marriage is more than a partnership or an agreement it is a covenant relationship between a man a woman and God because marriage is ordained by God. This is one of the main reason why the marriage vows encourage us to understand that the covenant should never be broken, i.e. what God has joined together let no man put asunder. The sanctity of marriage should in no way be under-estimated and we are motivated to marry with the view that it isn’t what you can do for me, but what I can do for you.